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POPRAGEOUS
February 09, 2016

17 Comments


WHAT HAPPENED TO FUCKING WITH FEELINGS!?!?!?

 (DISCLAIMER: DOES NOT APPLY IF YOU ARE IN A STABLE LOVING RELATIONSHIP)

                                                      
      WHERE DID THE LOVE GO?
In the age of Tinder, digital porn, and anti-slut shaming, it’s easy to compartmentalize sex, get off, and move onto the next no-strings-attached adventure.
As a woman, the first time I had casual sex (after my college boyfriend of 3 years), I found it to be liberating AF and was even proud that I could play the “who cares less” game as well as a man could.   
After all, we love cumming as much as the next man.

Fast-forward a decade and we're lucky if a man calls to get to know us and takes us on a proper date.  Instead I hear horror stories from my girlfriends about dick pics, “wanna fuck” sexts, and late night booty calls.

I have to wonder what in society is driving this behavior.. I think it's a combination of things:

Digital Porn.
70% of young men watch porn once a week if not more. They are taught to treat women as sex objects, not human beings with feelings.  In addition, porn offers variety, which can translate into difficulty being monogamous in real life. Sex used to be a scarce experience that men had to to work for. They had to shamefully go to the newsstand to buy a Playboy and then hide in the woods to enjoy it. Now they just google it and get it on their phones for free.
It’s so much easier than actually trying to get women to like them enough to have sex with them.

 

Tinder.
The same phenomenom that has happened with porn is happening with dating. You can get a penis or vagina ordered to your door. 
 “I hooked up with three girls, thanks to the Internet, off of Tinder, in the course of four nights, and I spent a total of $80 on all three girls,” Nick relays proudly.
“Sex has become so easy,” says John, 26, a marketing executive in New York.
“I can go on my phone right now and no doubt I can find someone I can have sex with this evening, probably before midnight.” – Vanity Fair, August 2015

Cheezburger tinder dating

Women..
We are allowing this!  We’ll sext back, send nudes, or
accommodate the booty calls because it's hot and we enjoy sex too!  Call it another sexual revolution because we aren’t ashamed of our sexuality anymore.  We are proud to enjoy getting off as much as our fellow man.  However, we’ve made a once scarce and highly valuable experience for a man, super easy to come by now. Did we lose our upper hand?


If we want men to take us on proper dates, make romantic gestures and actually get to know us, should we collectively (yes it's only going to work if we ALL commit) hold back on the sex until we feel a real meaningful connection??  I’m not sure we are willing to give that up. Maybe depend more on our vibrators until the love happens??? Would love to hear your thoughts on this. Please comment below!



In the meantime, I’ve designed a crop top (inspired by vagina art master Georgia O'Keeffe) as an expression of a time in my life when my vagina was a way to communicate true love, you know, like that 90’s R&B kind of love. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Love Me Inside & Out Crop Top

 

Xx,

Cher Park


17 Comments

Leah
Leah

February 14, 2016

Wow, how inappropriate.
Everyone else has said what I’m thinking.

Sam
Sam

February 13, 2016

I don’t know who let you out of your 1950’s style kitchen where you were busy making sandwiches for all the men who won’t date you, but they should revoke your writing privileges too.

Women can do WHATEVER the fuck they want with their bodies… And so can you. Unfortunately, you’re an idiot, so please… Stop trying to rub your stupid on us.

Seriously, who let you out?

Elyse
Elyse

February 13, 2016

CHER ~ You Rock!
Happy Valentine’s Day! Xoxo

Elyse
Elyse

February 13, 2016

CHER ~ You Rock!
Happy Valentine’s Day! Xoxo

Elyse
Elyse

February 13, 2016

You Rock!!!!!
Happy Valentine’s Day!

Michelle
Michelle

February 13, 2016

So glad I’m not the only one upset with the fact this was emailed to my work email. I have no problem with product emails but this opinion piece. I unsubscribed.

Writer – you are not getting the point in regards to relationships at all. I hope you stop blaming women in society for your dating life – I don’t and I have been there. I’m disappointed that women are made to feel like sex is their responsibility to make a relationship happen. Physical intimacy as you described is quite non committal on both parts as a segway into a relationship. But it is not the reason relationships don’t fall into our laps. Emotional intimacy is key. We also need to stop blaming one gender and making that the other genders problem.

Hope you figure out that it’s all way more complex than you have limited it to be.

Amelia
Amelia

February 13, 2016

Why are you slut shaming when you sell anti slut shaming leggings???

Emily Schulenberg
Emily Schulenberg

February 13, 2016

Found this in my “Junk” folder.
How appropriate.

D
D

February 13, 2016

This was an interesting thing to be sent to my email.
I’ve purchased gifts for my girlfriend through this website, as the quality of your products are praised.

Apologies for not disregarding the message. While I’m in a loving relationship, I’m on your email list. Thanks for plugging the crop top at the end of the message, because that’s why I’m on the mailing list: to hear about products.

To give you the comment that you’re looking for: All women should do whatever the fuck they want. (Yes, all of them)
If you want to fuck for fucks sake, then fuck.
If you want to watch porn, go at it.
If you want to use tinder, swipe whichever way you wish.
Vibrators? Sure. For your pleasure, or your partners.

It don’t, if you don’t want to. Your body, your rules.

Jen
Jen

February 13, 2016

I don’t think I have ever received a more inappropriate email from a business. You have nice quality products, but I don’t know if I will be buying from you again in the future.

Kat
Kat

February 13, 2016

Thank goodness most commentors felt as I did, disgusted by the implication that females somehow control males behaviour with sex and should therefore manipulate them into buying us dinner by not having sex with them. Men do not have to buy anyone dinner unless they want to, and women can have sex with whoever they want. And vice versa.

I have never had casual sex and I pay for my own meals on dates. And you can bet I am unsubscribing after having this crap sent to me in the form of a business email no less! I am so incredibly dissapointed.

Stephanie A
Stephanie A

February 13, 2016

I don’t sleep around and I’m on Tinder. I’ve only met one guy from it. I haven’t been intimate with anyone in ages not even oral sex. Some women make men work for it. I know what I bring to the table in the bedroom and don’t like to waste it on one nighters or friends with benefits.

Cara Westworth
Cara Westworth

February 13, 2016

What the hell did I just read? What an absolute load of garbage! You’re blaming women for being too easy on why some men act like scumbags? Fuck that noise. Who let you write this, seriously? I’ve hesrd of the problematic bs that poprageous has come out with but this is absolutely ridiculous!

Hazel
Hazel

February 13, 2016

This was a mess to read, I had oroblems following the continuity of the argument being presented and understanding it’s relevance to this brand. It sounds like a personal opinion piece, and while that is fine, I feel the need to point out that the writer has not cited any particular academic references (nor can I follow the logic?) in regards to the answer they have presented to many of these intersecting issues.

I would suggest the author read up on sex positivity, sex negative and anti-porn rhetoric from academic sources, and I would like you to note I disagree with the solution presented here.

In my experience (as we seem to be discussing personal experiences) men whom are entitled will act entitled, and that differeng contexts will only make this piece applicable to a subset of women as many in the world today are still facing arranged marriage, many are queer or asexual identifying and this pice completely ignores any other experience then the writers own. Maybe feedback to consider given a number of your fans I have personally encountered are well versed in intersectional feminism, adept at social media and are finding this post rather problematic. Many of us left BM for these reasons just fyi.

Katya
Katya

February 13, 2016

I feel like you’ve forgotten that your company is also the creator of these: http://www.poprageous.com/products/anti-slut-shaming-leggings Your message seems a long way off, but I guess things change. Glad I’m not a subscriber, as friends said they got this article posted right into their inboxes. How was sending this to your customers ever a good idea. “lol its a woman’s job to get men to respect you, now buy my product after I’ve shamed you!” — not to mention being so disgustingly heteronormative.

Kris
Kris

February 12, 2016

Agree with Veronica. Women are never going to collectively hold back the sex. We can’t ever make men work for that.. But we can make them work for us as individuals. Act like a lady and you’ll attract the type of men who want to treat you like one. I’m in no way slut shaming here.. If casual is your thing (and it was mine for awhile) then go have fun and don’t worry about it. But if you’re tired of meaningless sex and men who treat you like shit, then quit letting them do it. It really is as simple as that.

Veronica
Veronica

February 12, 2016

“If we want men to take us on proper dates, make romantic gestures and actually get to know us, we’re going to have to collectively (yes it’s only going to work if we ALL commit) hold back on the sex and I’m not sure we are willing to give that up.”

No, we don’t have to do shit. I don’t know what kind of men you’re seeing, but I guess you just have terrible luck… or poor taste in men. My partner – and my male friends – are all gentlemen and absolutely do the date/romantic thing.

I realize that we live in the “hookup culture” now, but people have always hooked up and had “meaningless sex”, it’s just more obvious now because of modern technology. Perhaps it’s actually more common now than it used to be, but it’s a culture shift. Culture changes happen all throughout history. Deal with it or find better men!

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